Christmas Commentator Pillows

"I'm telling you, I don't like the looks of this one bit..."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Where were the wise women?'

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

Hip hop Santa.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Santa's Nightmares

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

'Number two - can you say: 'Screw the milk and cookies...where's the VCR?' In a cheerful, jolly voice?'

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

Santa emergency stop.

Free Chimney Cleaning.

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

Hand emerges from King Arthur's xmas pudding with a coin.

Men/Women/Santa.

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.