Christmas Carol Appreciator Pillows

"I don't really like Christmas." "Oh, be quiet. Have a pear."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

Violin family at Christmas

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'Oh, it wasn't glossolalia -- he just gets tongue-tied when he preaches about sex and marriage.'

"Do you hear what I hear?"

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

"Jesus changed the water into wine and everyone drove home responsibly."

Four calling birds...three French hens...two turtle doves... This is my favourite part.

"That's the trouble with costume drama - so easy to foul up."

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

Let's stick to 'No room at the inn' and leave out 'Have you tried the internet?'

Santa's elevator

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

Baaaa....humbug.

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

'Global warming is God's way of giving you sinners a preview of HELL!'

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

"It's time we have a little chat."

Rum Pah Pum Pum!

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Christmas-Plex

'There's something different about the vicar, He seems louder,'