Christmas Comedy Appreciator Pillows

Santa's elevator

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"

"Bad news! They hacked Santa's computer and you're on the naughty list!"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

The Pink Bantha

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Moulin Rouge Security

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

All-Verbal Westerns

"A haand gel...!?"

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."