Comedy Appreciator Pillows

"Right now I think the wisest strategy is to diversify among your mattresses."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Dream Small

Dog Show: Great Dane Category.

"Stella, just...you know...come on, man."

"No Shakespeare, yet. But, they are churning out ten drug names a week."

Tree collapse...

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be an apostrophe in that?"

Scuba Diver using laptop under water.

"I was against Russo-Disneyland from the start."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Does this toga make my gluteus look maximus?"

'The only service I could give this would be a funeral service.'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Man falling through sand timer.

"Yes, that's very clever Julie. But can we stick to the basics?"

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

MISSING! / a jigsaw puzzle sticking up a flyer to a pole regarding his missing piece

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

'Time out! Fish on!'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

"John, the bees go on the outside."

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

'That's him! Third from the left!' - Easter Bunny's Troubled Youth

"The good news is, charging stations could multiply rapidly. The bad news is, your electric car won't be an excuse to avoid road trips anymore."

'OK start her up!'

'Yep, this model was recalled. But you're the first customer to bring back a used one.'

'Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...'

'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

"This is nothing like the photo on Airbnb."

Spotted dog on phone: 'No, that's just the problem, Doctor. I'm not a dalmatian.'

'Hello, 911? I'm trapped on a broken escalator!'

Husband takes photos while wife tries to keep canoe from going over falls.

"I've decided I need to work more on my people skills...they keep getting away."