Christmas Carol Aficionado Pillows

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"I am the new ghost of Christmas yet to come."

"Do you hear what I hear?"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

That one has all the batteries!

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

"Gesundheit!"

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

The worlds Longest Rendition of 'Joy To The World'.

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

Bling Crosby.

Choirboy

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

Four calling birds...three French hens...two turtle doves... This is my favourite part.

Christmas choir

A band rendition of Silent Night.

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

Baaaa....humbug.

Christmas songs

Congregation

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

"It's time we have a little chat."

'You know how 'method' Charles is . . .'

'His red nose turned out to be malignant...!!!'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Christmas Fatigue.

Warning: No Bob, Bob Bobbing Along. By Order of the Health and Safety Executive.

Policeman says to the Little Drummer Boy: 'Your neighbours have been complaining about the constant pa-rum-pa-pum-pum.'

Carol singers at Anagram Company singing 'Listen Thing' instead of 'Silent Night'.