Christmas And Hanukkah Observer Gifts

"I honestly don't know why you didn't make Santa's sleigh team."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"We only got six days of funding."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Night of the Latkes

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Oymoticons

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Boy and Bear and Monster

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

A surprise in heaven

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Christmas Pets

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Panettone

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Paul goes home for the holidays

Jewish Geometry

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

Ten Commandments

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"