Holiday Observance Gifts

'I need Flag Day off.'

"Today is All Saints' Day. It's not about candy...it's about honoring all the saints and remembering all their sacrifices!"

Where your mind & battle are los

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

The Vineyard

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Tourists

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Easter Island legs

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

The Baby Walker

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Santa Claus's Mail

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Airlines

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Meet the scribe"

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Club Antisocial

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.