Hanukkah Celebrant Gifts

Did you find our menorah?

Grace For Flies

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"We only got six days of funding."

Night of the Latkes

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Oymoticons

Boy and Bear and Monster

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

A surprise in heaven

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Happy Turkey Day!

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Jewish Geometry

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Ten Commandments

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Moses as a child.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Have your people call my people."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'...And now, for today's Top Ten Commandments ...'