Chanukah Celebrant Gifts

Fire Marshall Chanukah

Grace For Flies

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"We only got six days of funding."

Night of the Latkes

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Oymoticons

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Boy and Bear and Monster

A surprise in heaven

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Jewish Geometry

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

Ten Commandments

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

Moses as a child.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Have your people call my people."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

'...And now, for today's Top Ten Commandments ...'

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."