Christian Jesters Pillows

Pigmata

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Noah's Nark.

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

Looking for a cool cat.

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

"Your Honor, the state has every reason to consider the defendant an extremely high flight risk."

'The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That doesn't allow for much flexibility.'

'Mr. Justice, must you keep repeating 'nobody can fire me, nobody can dire me, nobody can dire me'?'

'Uh oh! I don't like the looks of that jury.'

"You call that justice? There's 20% cats in this town and I have to appear before an all dog jury."

"He was a plagiarist. So what if I plagiarized him."

"… open the doors, and see all the people."

"That all depends on what you mean by guilty."

"Not the God I expected."

'In lieu of a hearing my client would like a trial by the media.'