Christening Day Coordinators Pillows

"The baby apologises for missing the Christening, he had an urgent appointment."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"Not guilty?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

New Year's Eve party for dogs

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

The Aisle

A pirate and a bride

Eurocopa 2016

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"Would you like Daddy to tend the pin?"

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

Florist.

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"

Happy New Year

'Finally, I'd like to thank the bridesmaids...wait a minute: wrong speech!'

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

Bridezilla

Millennium dome - customers wanted.

Thanks for the lift to the flower show. I support your volunteer efforts. They're lucky to have someone with your gardening experience. Hardly! Information. The ladies room is to the left, funnel cakes to the right.