Chore Escapologist Pillows

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Good, I was hoping to catch you before you left.'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

Cat Chores

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

Houdini 2019

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'Wait for me!'

'Occasionally, one will escape its cubicle, which is why I have all my employees get an identification tattoo on the inside of their ears.'

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

"Gotta find more things to do, to distract me from all the things I have to do."

"This biography of Harry Houdini has binding on all four sides!"

"I'm out if that is a manufacturer."

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

"Another tiny victory in my never-ending quest for fun."

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

Tortured by music

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"