Chore Escapist Pillows

'There's nothing wrong with my arm - I wear it to get out of washing the dishes!'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Dinner will be ready in an hour -- Why don't you relax by mowing the lawn?'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

"Only laundry day would force you to consider the benefits of a clothesless society."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

The four housemen of procrastination

Easy chair exercise machines

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"I'm your exit strategy."

"We were told we could find the Wells Fargo records here."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"I took something for my headache. I took my boss to the airport."

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

'When you take a vacation to get away, you really get away!'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"I've thought of someone to blame."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

' Well..She did it to me again.'

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'Okay, ready to begin the workout? And... finished. Good job!'

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."