Choral Director Pillows

Choirmaster conducting, with one hand over a choirboy's mouth.

A Capella: singing without musical accompaniment.

Marimba

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Hildegard von Bingen

He looks so natural lying there...

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

Angel playing music

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

Tenors

Mexican angels.

Cricketer's funeral

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Ventriloquist Audition

"Oh relax, I'm off the clock for another hour."

This Space Available.

"Efficiency tombs available"