Musical Director Pillows

"Take it from the beginning. Act One. 'Gypsy.' 'May We Entertain You?' And this time, Mrs. Ritterhouse, without the Baby June split."

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

Wishing you a very harmonious Christmas

'Greatest Hits Compilations not yet turned into a terrible Ben Elton show.'

Piano Prompt

Barber of Seville

Lady Anglea

"Looks like we found the issue."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Just be yourself."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Golfing Boss

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Marimba

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

'Hamlet'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Leslie Caron.

'The good news is I had a very good year.'