Choosing A Healthcare Plan Gifts

'You'll never live to regret it!'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

Medicare: More is Better!

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

Medical Group: Specializing In Treating The Insured.

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

'The bad news is, during open enrollment we get to choose between our uncaring, inconvenient plan or another one that's just as bad or worse.'

'Welcome! Do you have any questions? Concerns? Pre-existing conditions?'

"The police want to ask you a few questions about where you get such good health insurance at such an affordable rate."

Cartoon about the high cost of health insurance.

"And, as a new employee, you are immediately entitled to participate in the company's proactive health plan."

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

'You look sick. Why don't you see your health insurance underwriter to see what he'll allow your doctor to prescribe?'

"Williams, you're now eligible for the company dental plan. It's a proactive one-time total extraction event..."

'Employee health plan? We've added chicken soup to our vending machine.'

Operating for money

'This can't be right...I went private some time ago.'

'You've only got a few days left to use up your healthcare benefits for the year. I'm going to call to see if I can get you in for a colonoscopy.'

"Think of it this way - if you can shop for an affordable health care plan, you can walk over a bed of hot coals."

'...and with our DeLuxe Plan, you actually get the unlisted number of your doctor's answering service!'

'Why do you keep this job? It's killing you.'

'I'm thinking about becoming a priest - tell me about your healthcare plan?'

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I'm having trouble myself signing up for Affordable Healthcare.'

"My insurance will pay for a new hip, but I really need better glasses and a hearing aid."

"So which HMO do you plan to join?"

"Who's got the best insurance?"

'The jury's still out on it's effectiveness, but it is covered by insurance.'