Cholesterol Rebel Gifts

Everything Deep Fried. . . Food Shaming

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Any time is cake o'clock

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Good Cholesterol.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'