Chinese Food Pillows

Szechuan Man

"Did you order the Won-ton soup?"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

The Untold History of General Tso.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

Moo Shoe Guy Pan.

"Years ago a fortune cookie told me that I'd soon meet the man of my dreams. We've been married for decades now and I'm still waiting!"

"It says 'Good fortune comes to those who tip generously'."

Dog Chow Mein

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

The Witches Discover The Wok

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'Only his closest associates are allowed to call him Peking'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

Chinese Novel Cookie

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

Sushi for two, please.

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

Russian Cuisine. Do you still have borscht? Yes, the beet goes on.

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"They won't work!!!"