Chinese Culture Humor Gifts

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

Billy. The Kid.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Yes, all at once!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

Aggression/Security

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

The Scottish Lawn

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

Elephant and Castle

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"When did this game get started?"

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

Duckumentary: 'QUACK!'

Feng Shui Centre - We Have Moved

Down with canned laughter.

Misfortune cookies