Chinese Culture Humor Pillows

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

Billy. The Kid.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Yes, all at once!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Aggression/Security

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

The Scottish Lawn

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

Wall Street...

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

Elephant and Castle

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

"When did this game get started?"

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

'Too much hazel, not enough nut.'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

Down with canned laughter.

I think you've cured my depression, doctor. Lately, when I read the funny papers, it seems to me like "The Family Circus" has gone over to the dark side.

'...And now, this Surgeon-General's warning: 'Look out, you fools!''

Feng Shui Centre - We Have Moved

Misfortune cookies

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."