Cross-cultural Humor Seeker Pillows

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Unicorn Working From Home

"Static cling."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

Drinking Companions

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Pioneers of the ancient west

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Ariel prepares for her big date.

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

Cow can

"I know that house was right here last Halloween."

"I thought that I knew everybody in town."

'It was rumoured Henshott's father had been involved in certain genetic and biological cross-breeding experiments...''

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"I can't believe the platypuses gave us $100 for our spot on the ark."

'Dinner!'