Chimpanzee Enthusiast Gifts

'That's what we evolved from.'

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Peer review is getting tougher and tougher."

'I hear you're typing the complete wors of Shakespeare?'

'So...1% of our DNA says you're in a suit, while I'm sitting around with no clothes on piking stuff with sticks.'

'Intelligent creatures bedamned - look at the rubbish they're watching!'

Tool Use in Primates

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Football Chameleon

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

'What will we do when the ice melts?'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

ZOO

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Too much monkey business...

"You dropped yer wallet."

Penguin

"Of course you like like your father and me. What did you expect?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

Just back from the psychological research center, Stanly couldn't help but think that he lived with a bunch of baboons.

'I bet this will confuse the Antarctic scientists!'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'