Chimp Enthusiasts Gifts

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Listen! They're playing our bong."

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"Remember son, evolution peaks with us - chimps were in space before man!"

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

Frederic Chopin.

Old Chipmunk. Now where the heck did I put those nuts?

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

Monkey casino study.

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

'-and I suppose you want chips with it?'

"I'll get you out, but first hand me the chips in B-12."

Sure you can twitter, but can you chirp, warble and trill?

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

He's a terrible climber, but he's pretty good with tools.

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

Man fishing and eating potato chips Title: 'Fish and Chips'

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

'No, no, I'm not the CEO! Dad id the CEO.'

'I'm the one who has to find them, so I embedded the locator chip in their wool!'

Sport Darwinism

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

Inspired by Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey, Dave Kisselback opts to live among the chipmunks of Northern Wisconsin.

"Looks like it's going to be an interesting new year."

"I know you can't tell officer, but I'm giving you the sweetest smile."

"The bird feeder is empty again."

Salesmen - You're right, you have a charming smile.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

Beer...Better living through zymurgy.