Chimney-free Claus Enthusiast Gifts

"It's from Santa. He says he's become concerned about the climate and that he will have nothing to do with chimneys anymore."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"Those who can can, dance."

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

Scre

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

Little did Fred know that he was igniting a corporate paper wad fight that would eventually cost the company 629 million in lost production time and force the closure of 21 branch offices.

'No cubicles. All our temps are free-range.'

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"You mean pesticides and herbicides aren't the same?"

"I like a little insurance that he won't take breaks during his run. I'll give him a few seconds before I release the dogs."

"Taking crazy risks gives me such a rush. Like check out my phone. No case!"

"It's Santa, we don't have a chimney, so he's trying to get in through the central heating duct."

"It's not quite the same."

'When my wife goes outside we sometimes experience a sudden loss of cabin pressure. '

Police Warning - Street unsuitable for children - smokers ahead.

Saving the earth, one drink at a time.

'Hang on a minute...are you over 18?'

America's Public (Health) Enemy #1

Bears Inc. Magazine.

Couple with corner of runway in their living room - "Bloody airport expansion..."

"Hi! I'm here for Bob the Vegan."

Passing the Tablet

Ho Ho Ho.

'I have had only one cavity in the last 10 visits to the dentist.'

'Herb has gone 100 caffeine-free.'