Chill Coworker Gifts

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Freezing

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

"This one is less distracting."

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'I never let the stress of the job get me down.'

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'

'Thank you for coming...I'll be ok...grief is the price we pay for love...'

"Larry goes out of his way to get along with difficult employees!"

'Pemberly, I'd like to tweak you ignorance.'

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

'I think you're our kind of people.'

'I hate Mondays!'

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'