Children's Story Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm having wall to wall odour eaters fitted.'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Jack B...not so Nimble.

Young Humpty

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Victor Hugo

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

The Poky Little Pupa.

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Hansel and Gretal

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"This is what's known as a book."