Children's Story Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm having wall to wall odour eaters fitted.'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Jack B...not so Nimble.

Young Humpty

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Hansel and Gretal

Jacques et Jille