Children's Songs Fan Gifts

Ear, Nose & Throat. Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes. (Published originally on December 22, 2010.)

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

Pastries and Candy

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"I'm in children's books, myself."

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

Punctuation Karaoke Night

"This is a duet yourself project."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

The Little Engine That Could pulls into the subway station.

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

Not much, just chillin' with my Peeps. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-28).

Why is it that it's always your mittens you lose?

Quentin Blake

'I had to put the peas in my ears... they kept falling out my nose!'

"I did the hocus pocus and I turned myself around."

"Let's just take the Kosciuszko."

The three bears hitchhike holding sign: 'The woods'.

"You killed him!"

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

What Goldilocks didn't know.

Kids lie about watching TV. Boy says: 'It's all Bob the Builder, Fireman Sam, Postman Pat ... I'm exhausted just watching it.'

Cheshire Flamenco Dancer... Lipsticked grin clutching flower in her teeth.

On the Set of the Mulberry Bush

"I didn't see you."