Children's Cartoons Pillows

"Mom!! There's a kid on the ceiling!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Billy. The Kid.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Houston, we have a problem."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Needs to get a life"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Pyramid Handicap Parking

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"Move along please. There's nothing to see here!"

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

Land of the Average Sized Cows!

'Well no wonder it didn't work!'