Children Of Divorced Parents Gifts

'I hope Mom and Dad get back together. I miss the hypocrisy.'

Marriage least expected to last...

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

Sweets

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

"Lover’s leap" "Wife toss"

'Remember when I threatened suicide the first time you went home to your mother!'

'I feel sorry for you single people. Nobody to go home to fight with.'

"Let's review cause and effect. Your divorce 10 years ago can't affect your son's zero today."

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

Lawyer: 'She got the house, he got the money, and somehow, I ended up with the kid.'

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

"Separate clouds, please."

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

A man in an armchair is being carried away by rubbish removers, as his wife waves him off.

'I can't ta;l now, you moron. Your alimony check is in the mail!'

'I'm sorry, but it's strictly against my policy to hire a former husband.'

"Please bear with me. I'm only recently back on the singles scene."

"That reminds me- how's your mother?"

"Man with 'Mom and Dad' tattoos on either arm - "It's a real shame about your parents splitting up."

'All my friends are divorced, and I'm not even married.'

"As per the terms of my divorce, my ex-wife will conduct the final movement."

It's 10 PM Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

'Computer dating? I want my money back. You fixed me up with my first wife.'