Children In Costumes Gifts

"Neither of us are dentists." "True, but we're saving a fortune on candy." "They probably give out healthy stuff." "Let's go next door."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

Packaging Russian Dolls

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Bookworm Sleepover

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Look, a bug!"

"And this is our media room."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

SALE

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"That'll be five bucks."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"Mom probably wouldn't buy us one, but you have to learn to make your own choices, Dad."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'