Childhood Wonder Gifts

"Bet you five bucks they both fall for the old 'zebra egg'."

Christmas Day - Early Risers

His First Ache.

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

I Heart Juggling

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

Child development. How children change.

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"If something is neither here nor there, where is it?"

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

How to sleep when you're a kid...

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

Poems to Spookify

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

Life's game plan for pre-schoolers.

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

'Don't you think he's a little to young to take up fishing, Ralph?'

"Needs ketchup."

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

Lollies

'The batteries must be dead.'

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

'Now remember, the password is 'Woof!''