Childhood Memoirist T-Shirts

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'

Haircuts

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Bike Rides

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'My first camera'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Jack in the Box

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

'I thought you wanted him to have all the things you never had.'

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Sliding Down the Banister

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"You see? There are no vacuum cleaners under your bed."

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Rapunzel as a child.

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'