Childhood Storyteller T-Shirts

"My friend Janet brushed all the time and her teeth STILL fell out. She was only six!"

"Will Kristen, Kirsten, and Kiersten please choose new names?"

"I think we should start seeing other little kids."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Wearing glasses stops the boys from hitting me, and the girls from kissing me.'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

"He ran off, and now he's living in a beat up tennis shoe."

"Gaby, I don't want to be your BFF! I already have a BFF!"

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Children's Party

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Tooth fairy

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"