Childhood Raconteur T-Shirts

'What's up with your mum's stomach?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Non Thought For The Day.

Tooth fairy

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

"Some women to see you, Anne."

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'If she can't speak yet, how do you know her name is Jennifer?'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

Max Beerbohm

'Once upon a time'...'I've hear it.'

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"That'll be two incisors and a molar, please."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."