Childhood Memoirist Mugs

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'

Haircuts

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Bike Rides

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'My first camera'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

Jack in the Box

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Sliding Down the Banister

'I thought you wanted him to have all the things you never had.'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"You see? There are no vacuum cleaners under your bed."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

Rapunzel as a child.

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'