Childhood Biographer T-Shirts

"'The Awakening: An Unauthorized Look at the Summer Vacation of Timmy Hofferman.'"

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

'My first camera'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

Green Balloon

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

Bookmore Publishing Co. Autobiography Editor - Embellish and De-Embellish.

Rapunzel as a child.

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

"If you're going to write I think you have to draw upon your own experience."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

James Boswell