Childhood Fears Gifts

'Think of the advantages of having a monster living under your bed! You won't have to clean because I'll scare all the dust bunnies away.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'He's maturing early.'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Tree house.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"Recess does things to a man."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Serious Putty

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"Use your inside scream."