Fearless Child Gifts

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

"At last, a low-level panel!"

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"

Monster under the bed.

'No thanks, curiosity has already cost me 7 lives, and I'm not risking any more.'

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Don't have nightmares!

Things that scare Jimmy

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

'I don't think my parents are ready for me to come out of the closet just yet.'

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

'I got a fright when he stepped on me, but, judging by the way he jumped, so did he...'

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

"... and you've had this irrational fear that evil clowns were hiding under your bed since you were how old?"

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

'Don't worry, Mrs. Shumberg, your son has years of experience doing this. He knows just what he's doing.'

'Take a deep breath and don't panic - we're walking by the reason this area's known as the 'Fear Factor'!'

The Board of Fear