Fearless Romantic Gifts

Venn Diagram of 'love' and 'horror films'

'Oh come on Justin, you know I'm terrified of luggage.'

Monster under the bed.

"I don't know-somehow the city seems much scarier than when I was a kid."

Proposal on a snowboard

Don't have nightmares!

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

Palm tree in love...

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

A tightrope walker balances while holding hearts.

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

'It is a little-known fact that all our energy problems would be solved if kids weren't such total wimps.'

'Do you have to shoot me with that. Can't you give me a couple of great pickup lines instead?'

"Mom's campfire stories are much better since we got her the Scary Campfire Story app."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

Scared elephant paints a mouse.

'I know they're flesh-eating zombies, but I had to let them in - they brought wine.'

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

'George, come back down before you lose your nerve.'

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

'Looks like we lucked out.'

Late Night Doubts.

'Hester had done the triple dozens of times in his mind. Now, however...'

'Okay, let's go and ask them if we can buy them a drink. But try to look confident. They can sense fear.'

"That movie wasn't too scary for you, was it, son?"

Love and War

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

Opera singer screaming at a mouse to get that high pitch.

'Thank you for saving me. Do you have the energy to swim back to the ship for my vibrators?'