Fear Of Growing Up Gifts

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

The Amazing Man-Spider

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"You used to be a lot more fun."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Origins Of Evolution

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I can change! I swear!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

High Pants/Low Pants.

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."