Childcare Satirist Gifts

Spartan Solutions - "We're working on our child care facility."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

The Mothership

Therapy for babies.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."