Childcare Aficionado Gifts

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Children's Nursery

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

Lemming mothers

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

A Boy and His Mother

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

Child with doll in the sea

Yoyos

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

No bottle feeding.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"More aphorisms, please!"

The Motherhood

"The idea is to stick art on the refrigerator, not carve it in."

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'