Childcare Aficionado T-Shirts

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

I love my family!

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'So this is goodbye then!'

Children's Nursery

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Lemming mothers

A Boy and His Mother

Child with doll in the sea

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

Yoyos

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

No bottle feeding.

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

"More aphorisms, please!"

The Motherhood

"The idea is to stick art on the refrigerator, not carve it in."

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

'Now, shake, boy, shake...'

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.