Child Care Enthusiast Gifts

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Children's Nursery

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

No bottle feeding.

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

Wee Folks Daycare

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

"I couldn't find a sitter."

Women with her children of leashes passes dog walker with dogs so well trained they have no leashes.

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

New more powerful, furniture polish.

'Oh, wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'If kids have to be raised properly, does that hurt?'

Dr.Benjamin Spock

"Your nanny is paid to be patient with you."

"I take my babysitting job very seriously."

The three p's: peeing, poohing, puking

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

Different Perspectives on Childcare

Mozart's first movement: Leopold, come quick.'