Child-care Connoisseur Gifts

"I couldn't find a sitter."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'So this is goodbye then!'

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

Children's Nursery

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

No bottle feeding.

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

Junior's Towel

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Dummy Sucking Area

Women with her children of leashes passes dog walker with dogs so well trained they have no leashes.

'Oh, wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

"Your nanny is paid to be patient with you."