Day Care Enthusiast Gifts

'It was a great idea to open a day care center for kids whose parents are hunting and gathering.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I'm bored."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Fitness Programme for babies

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Children's Nursery

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

No bottle feeding.

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'When the bough broke, did the daycare center's insurance rates go up?'

Early Learning Centre

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

'But, sweetheart, it's only for three hours. Just say you're bringing him in for loitering.'

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

New more powerful, furniture polish.

"You're wasting your time, Dad. I learned in day care a cow jumped over the moon."

'Now, shake, boy, shake...'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'If you can read this, call the missing kids' hotline.'

Dr.Benjamin Spock

"Your nanny is paid to be patient with you."