Child-wrangling Warriors Pillows

We're off now, thanks for sitting,,,

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"