Child Development Observer Pillows

'When you can hear the sound of one cheek pooing you will have learned, grasshopper...'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Children's education

"It's his emotional support animal."

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

Toilet Training

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

Look,that is not your Daddy

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

Proud mums.

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

"Now mommy, I know there has been some bad blood between us."

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"