Child Development Observer Gifts

They grow up so slow.

'When you can hear the sound of one cheek pooing you will have learned, grasshopper...'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Children's education

"It's his emotional support animal."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Origins Of Evolution

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

Toilet Training

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

Look,that is not your Daddy

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Proud mums.

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'