Childhood Development Observer Gifts

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Children's education

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Toilet Training

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

Proud mums.

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

"Those aren't drones. Those are birds. You need to get out more."

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

Head Start Nursery.

'She has great communication skills.'

Swings Doctor

She's started, like, talking, and you're not gonna, like, believe what her, like, first word was!

"But, sweetie, children are the backbone of our educational system."

'When I grow up, I think I'd like to be a deus ex machina, just like you.'

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

'My answers aren't wrong,merely different.'

"Oh yes, you have to keep an eye on them All the time!"

"It's hard to believe the adults think he's so lovable!"

'Mom said I was rude and put me in time out to learn some manners. I'm in solitary refinement!'

"When will someone teach us how to share?"

"Why are they always pushing quality on us?"

"Watch yourself--we're under surveillance."

Now, my son, visualize yourself removing your diaper and sitting on the potty

'I'm not being edutained!'

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

'This is a great new computer-generated test. It's for first graders, and it tell you which graduate schools they'll qualify for.'

Mom to other about hyper kid: 'Our little firecracker was born on the fourth of July. That's why we named him 'Boomer'.'

"The educational toys were a waste of money."

'When you can hear the sound of one cheek pooing you will have learned, grasshopper...'

They grow up so slow.